How I feel about Mondays…

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Maybe I’ll get up sooner or later….

Or Maybe not.

-TCBL

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Fill in the Blank

I’m weird because….

I laugh at my own private jokes out loud.

I ask other people questions then answer them myself

I have full on conversations with animals

I watch “Gator Boy” marathons then think I can go out and catch myself an alligator

I watch the Syfy channel for comedic relief

I do an impression of ET (wrap up in a blanket, squat real low, then run/hobble around)

I celebrate Friday the 13ths like it’s a holiday

I’m the only girl I know who hasn’t had her wedding planned out since she was little: and still don’t

I’m deathly afraid of sharks, but still go surfing because of the adrenalin rush

I used to be scared of spiders, but now I have dreams about having spiders as friends

I love feeling sore after working out

I like to name inanimate objects (cars, computer, ipod, phone, alarm clock, etc.)

 

I’m awkward because…

I’ll start talking but never finish my point

I don’t make a lot of eye contact

When I don’t have anything to say I just smile a lot

I don’t get embarrassed when I should

I say/do extremely random things that leave people thinking “where the hell did that come from?!”

I have no problem talking to guys, until I find one attractive, then I turn into a shy stuttering nervous nelly

I point out the awkwardness in situations

 

I’m awesome because…

I can get through whole conversations using nothing but movie quotes

My sarcastic wit sometimes just takes over and is uncontrollable

I’d rather watch sports with guys than spend time gossiping with girls

I have no censor (unless it’s absolutely necessary)

I will try almost anything once

 

I’m most fun when…

I’ve had my fix of coffee for the day

I’m over tired and delirious

Someone gives me a couple shots of tequila

I’m bored and want to do something spontaneous

I want to procrastinate

I want to do nothing but dance dares (dance behind people without them noticing)

 

I’m happy because…

I have many things to be thankful for

A Harry Potter marathon is on TV right now

Mac Miller is in town, even though I won’t be able to see him

It’s almost my birthday

I’m going to see Ke$ha in concert soon

I have friends that accept and sometimes encourage my quirks

 

 

I’m sad because…

It’s 55 degrees in July, so iced coffee was not appropriate today

I never received a letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and forces me to accept that I am a muggle (I know this joke has been worn out beyond belief, but it legitimately is hard for me to accept it and makes me sad)

My cat won’t talk to me today

My drink is too far to reach and I don’t want to get up

Time is going by too fast

I hit the point where I’m too old according to my younger cousins and get made fun of

There’s still a couple months left until hockey season starts

No one else has had the honor of attending my concerts as I belt out many songs in the car on road trips (move over Beyonce, I’m becoming a pro)

My weird list is longer than my happy and awesome list combined

 

There’s clearly not enough going on in my life right now for me to resort to compiling these lists about myself.  Sometimes it happens. Hopefully after a night out tonight I will get back on track with my life’s inevitable laughable moments. Until then this is all you get. Keep on keeping on.

 

-TCBL

A and A of my week

The awesome part of my week is that I saw a shooting star, and got to see my best friend after not seeing her for almost a year in the same night. We went out for a few drinks and were able to catch up even though we still communicated some way or another at least every week. Our favorite form of communication lately: snap chat. I don’t know what it is about snap chat, but I love it. I just find it very entertaining. Anyways, we decided how much it sucks that people get too busy that they eventually lose touch the older you get. It’s great having a friend that no matter how much time passed between seeing each other that you can just pick up where you left off.

The awkward part of my week is that we had three guys beg us to play pool at a bar during their… bachelor party??? One guy was getting married, the other had a girlfriend and bragged about all the expensive trips he took, and the other was single and trying…way  too hard! It was kind of a sad bachelor party if you ask me. The guy getting married said he had six groomsmen…. but he only had two of them with him on a pretty important night??? Plus they were talking to us, who gave many signals that we clearly didn’t want anything to do with them. We played pool but didn’t try. We said every place that the bragster went to sucked. We didn’t even laugh at the poor single guys jokes (which in our defense were pretty bad, and maybe a little offensive). We just really didn’t want to be bothered. We clearly were texting each other back and forth whether or not we should leave. But they didn’t notice. They told us to go to the same bar they were headed to after. I don’t know it just was a train wreck for them. Either way it was pretty awkward when they left and we didn’t want to go with. oh well. You can’t win them all.

 

At least my best friend and I know to handle situations like these… just laugh and joke about it later.

Hope everyone had a good week.

-TCBL

Why Can’t I F*cking Sleep?!?!?!

There is an endless amount of possibilities as to why I can’t sleep:

  1. Well, I’m on the computer for one thing
  2. The TV is on: Skip ahead to #5
  3. I took an unnecessary 2hr nap
  4. I had coffee at 6 ‘o clock pm that probably shouldn’t have been consumed
  5. My imagination decided to go wild and think of horrible things like scenes from “The Conjuring” previews and I got scared an evil paranormal spirit was going to drag me out of my bed.
  6. The lights are on thanks to #5
  7. I’m too cold with the fans blasting on me
  8. I’m too hot with the fans off
  9. I’m upset I didn’t get to celebrate National Tequila Day
  10. I’m hungry
  11. I keep thinking about sleep
  12. I’m not tired
  13. I am tired
  14. I’m trying to plan out my day tomorrow. It involves a stop for coffee, I have a feeling I’ll be needing it.
  15. I’m worried I will have to plan an exorcism if I stay up until 3:00 am. (watch the exorcism of Emily rose if you’re lost)
  16. I’m trying to think if I forgot to pack something
  17. I’m trying to remember something I forgot three days ago
  18. I’m wondering how long I’m going to be single for
  19. I’m writing this blog
  20. My hair is messy and the strays are blowing in the wind tickling my face leading me to believe spiders are crawling all over me
  21. I can’t help but remember how ridiculous and hilarious “Sharknado” was
  22. I’m sore from my workout yesterday and it hurts to toss and turn
  23. I have SDI (self-diagnosed insomnia)
  24. I thought about all the horrible dreams I’ve had
  25. The sandman skipped my house
  26. Something bad is happening in the dream world and it’s not safe for me to enter (Oh geez I hope everyone is okay)
  27. My room is a mess
  28. I’m scared to find out what will happen on “Big Brother” tomorrow. Who’s being evicted?!
  29. I’m thirsty, but that requires me to walk upstairs and I can’t because of #22 (now I know how the Twilight vampires feel with being unable to quench an unbearable thirst)
  30. I’d rather write this list than keep trying to sleep
  31. I don’t like  even numbers

 

I could probably keep going with reasons since my brain could be the new mascot for energizer batteries (Move over pink bunny banging the drum!) But, I should probably try to sleep for the 5th time. It’s already past 3:00 am so I undoubtedly have to schedule my exorcism in the morning. Until then I will lay here awake, and wait for the sandman to come back and drop a 10lb bag of sand on my head to knock me out.

 

-TCBL

A pinch of me… the auspicious potion that lead to the making of yours truly

Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of Me

In response to Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of me

I dropped the whole recipe idea. I feel like a brewed witch’s potion is more like me.

Warning: The practice of witchcraft is needed, but this is for good. Like Harry Potter good.

66 drops of sweat from Mario Lemieux for a healthy obsession of hockey

13 Alligator scales for an adrenalin junkie

3 sloth toes for awkwardness

2 butterfly wings for an extrovert and socialness

5 dove feathers for a free spirit

1 bottle of clouds for an avid daydreamer

7 four leaf clovers for luck

1 gallon of moon rocks for a colossal imagination and creativity

4 bottles of laughs for optimism and happiness

1 Ace of spades from a deck of cards for spontaneity

21 passion fruits for an immense amount of passion and love in everything and everyone important

5 shots of tequila for fun. (Warning: don’t go past 5 or ridiculous things may occur)

11 lbs. of fireworks for trailblazing (A person who blazes a trail for others to follow: a leader)

5 movie scripts: “Easy A”, “Stick It”, “A Night at the Roxbury”, “Step Brothers”, and “Pitch Perfect” for a knowledge of movies and quoting aficionado

1 flash shirt for “The Big Bang Theory” enthusiast

Add as many CDs as possible for extra happiness

For Sarcasm: Add anything left over. A season of “Men at Work”, “Gilmore Girls”, or “How I Met Your Mother”, something regarding Ellen Degeneres, Dane Cook, Kristen Wiig, or Rebel Wilson, maybe a few extra sloth toes, something with a kick to it like hot peppers (or mild peppers depending on how you like your sarcasm), shark teeth for a little bite, and a kazoo for a slight but refreshing hint of weirdness.

Finish off with 2 blue iris flowers for the eyes, 3 pigs tails for the extra curly hair and some drops of golden sun for tanned skin.

Combine all ingredients in a black caldron. Fill the rest with Ocean water and sand for the love of beach and surfing. Stew over a wood fire.

***Make sure to have an IV drip filled with coffee available at all times or else the spell will go south very quickly. Keep in 75-90 degree weather for an everlasting potion.

Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of Me

-TCBL