Why Can’t I F*cking Sleep?!?!?!

There is an endless amount of possibilities as to why I can’t sleep:

  1. Well, I’m on the computer for one thing
  2. The TV is on: Skip ahead to #5
  3. I took an unnecessary 2hr nap
  4. I had coffee at 6 ‘o clock pm that probably shouldn’t have been consumed
  5. My imagination decided to go wild and think of horrible things like scenes from “The Conjuring” previews and I got scared an evil paranormal spirit was going to drag me out of my bed.
  6. The lights are on thanks to #5
  7. I’m too cold with the fans blasting on me
  8. I’m too hot with the fans off
  9. I’m upset I didn’t get to celebrate National Tequila Day
  10. I’m hungry
  11. I keep thinking about sleep
  12. I’m not tired
  13. I am tired
  14. I’m trying to plan out my day tomorrow. It involves a stop for coffee, I have a feeling I’ll be needing it.
  15. I’m worried I will have to plan an exorcism if I stay up until 3:00 am. (watch the exorcism of Emily rose if you’re lost)
  16. I’m trying to think if I forgot to pack something
  17. I’m trying to remember something I forgot three days ago
  18. I’m wondering how long I’m going to be single for
  19. I’m writing this blog
  20. My hair is messy and the strays are blowing in the wind tickling my face leading me to believe spiders are crawling all over me
  21. I can’t help but remember how ridiculous and hilarious “Sharknado” was
  22. I’m sore from my workout yesterday and it hurts to toss and turn
  23. I have SDI (self-diagnosed insomnia)
  24. I thought about all the horrible dreams I’ve had
  25. The sandman skipped my house
  26. Something bad is happening in the dream world and it’s not safe for me to enter (Oh geez I hope everyone is okay)
  27. My room is a mess
  28. I’m scared to find out what will happen on “Big Brother” tomorrow. Who’s being evicted?!
  29. I’m thirsty, but that requires me to walk upstairs and I can’t because of #22 (now I know how the Twilight vampires feel with being unable to quench an unbearable thirst)
  30. I’d rather write this list than keep trying to sleep
  31. I don’t like  even numbers


I could probably keep going with reasons since my brain could be the new mascot for energizer batteries (Move over pink bunny banging the drum!) But, I should probably try to sleep for the 5th time. It’s already past 3:00 am so I undoubtedly have to schedule my exorcism in the morning. Until then I will lay here awake, and wait for the sandman to come back and drop a 10lb bag of sand on my head to knock me out.




3 thoughts on “Why Can’t I F*cking Sleep?!?!?!

  1. im totally feelin you on this. it happens. but only to the BEST of us. i mean who doesnt enter upon a wild insomniatic rant of making lists and imagining dream scenarios at 3am. only those who hold profound imaginations and higher reasoning. =)
    xo- whit

    • I’m glad your choice of word to describe my rant is wild. I’m afraid that if I would have written it at 6 (yes I was still awake) my list would have gotten a lot weirder. At that point I would be scared to see what word you would have used then. I’m glad you understand the value of an imagination tainted with insomnia can have!
      Thanks for reading, Whit!

      • the wilder, the better. I dig quirky, silly and border-line outrageous. im super wild and sometimes crazy myself-people often give me funny looks marred with giant smiles and I feel like it’s because my quirkyness is foreign to them but they ADMIRE and ENVY it. maybe they just think im nuts for dancing, gigglig and engaging everywhere i go but you have to be bold and brave- courageous they say-to stand out and mark your individuality and I think those that think it’s weird are lacking the understanding of a true artist- we’re all that way! can’t wait to read more of your stuff! you hooked me- congrats- it’s not all that easy to do! =) xo

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