The Special and the Paranoid

I have two cats.

 

I’m a dog person but have two pet cats.

 

How does that happen you ask?

Well 10 years ago I gave my mom an ultimatum that I either could get a dog or two cats. I thought the extra number would steer her towards the dog. Boy, was I wrong.

Ten years later and I still have the two little fur balls. And still no dog.

One is Rodney and the other is Raven. I don’t think you’re supposed to, but I do have a favorite. It’s not really a big secret. If you were to go through pictures on my phone you would see hundreds of pictures  of Rodney and maybe three of Raven. Even when I talk to my mom I always ask, “How is Rodney?” I never really inquire about Raven. Not because I don’t love her. But because she probably isn’t doing anything.

Raven is a little slow and we hold a cat special Olympics just for her every year. Most of the time she just sits in the dark in the basement and is very antisocial. She’s also been playing the same game of chase that ended 7 years ago… She’s so special. I blame it on the time when she took a running start and giant leap off the couch straight into the wall head first. Brain damage. It seriously was like out of an old time Warner Bros. cartoon as she slid down the wall in slow motion. My mom blames it on the time I sat on her because she blended in with our black couch. Lack of oxygen leading to brain damage. Poor cat has been through a lot, and we just laugh at her misfortunes. She does have cuteness working in her favor though. When she wants something she meows in the most adorable way and you can’t say no to her.

 

Rodney on the other hand is my baby and can’t ever be alone.  We have conversations all the time and my mom yells at us to shut up all the time.  My favorite is when I leave to go back to school and he tries to talk to my mom. I definitely have Skyped with him on multiple occasions.  He might be schizophrenic in the sense that he always thinks something is crawling on him and randomly bites himself, then runs around the house super fast making weird noises.  He likes to get high off of catnip. After rolling around in it he lays on his back with a glossy look in his eyes for awhile. Then he passes out for an hour.

 

I think I just have a pair of the world’s weirdest cats. Which is okay because I like weird and they fit right in to our family.

 

 rodney 1

He never really understands hide and seek. He always has some body part sticking out (usually his tail)

rodney 2

He likes birthdays and Christmas because He gets boxes as presents

rodney 4

He likes hockey just as much as I do.

raven

This is Raven on our treadmill… she doesn’t know she’s using it the wrong way.

Anyways, Next week after my exams I am going to go to the library and write all day non-stop so I can get back on track with writing on here almost every day again. I also won’t write about my cats…. once is even too much.

-tcbl

 

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Where does the time go?

Well my time management lately has been WAY off.

 

I’ve been studying, working, training dogs, and going to class. Clearly I have lost sight of what’s really important here… Blogging!

 

Okay maybe it’s not more important than those other things… but I really need to start working it in better.

I can’t believe it is October already! It’s such a great month! The leaves start changing, pumpkin flavoring is in everything, its sweatshirt weather, and I get to scare the living day lights out of my roommate for the next 31 days. I’m not sure how it started last year, but I thought I would carry on the tradition this year as well. I think it is the best idea I’ve had; my roommate, not so much. She is a good sport about it though! I have also managed not to get punched in the face yet… *knock on wood 3x*

 

October may be my favorite month because I love scary movies, pumpkin pie, and Halloween. But I can’t leave out the most important fact of why this month is so great…

 

Hockey season has started people!!! Finally, I get a full season of this wonderful sport and even more thanks to the Winter Olympics. Seriously I don’t know what could be better. Oh wait, yes I do. To attend a game this year. I mean I can’t complain since I recently met two Minnesota Wilds players, but I mean when it comes to hockey I just can’t get enough. That adorable little girl from the Geico commercials knows what I’m talking about. “We want more, we want more!” Yes I do want as much hockey as possible!

 

I’ve had this strange idea to put my weird E.T. impression to good use and scare all the people heading downtown on the weekends. I won’t take my chances of getting hurt and wear my hockey gear of course, but I’m hoping to catch some good ones on camera.  If it works I will have to post some of the videos on here of course also.

 

Maybe this is why my time management is off. I’m too busy working on my E.T. impression, rather than writing.

Quick updates:

My Wednesday Standup Comedy night has yet to pick up. Maybe for good reason… I don’t really do standup comedy. I just have really good one liners in response to stupid people.  As long as my roommates still find me entertaining, I will just assume they are really good.

The cute guy from my physics class and I apparently have inside jokes now… I don’t even know what they are. I just laugh when he does since I can’t concentrate on anything he says…. I just try not to be my normal awkward self. It probably isn’t going as well as I imagine.

 

Oktoberfest was a mighty drunken success!! Partied all weekend with no hangover what-so-ever! I drank beer. Lots and lots of beer. I danced even more. My roommates and I sat on our front porch, drank, listened to music, and watched all the other drunk people pass us by while cars honked at us.

 

Well happy October everyone. Enjoy everything this month has to offer. Get out there and go scare some people!!!!

 

-tcbl

My Brain is Fried

Okay everyone my brain is NOT fried because I’ve been smoking too much weed or watching too many Spongebob Squarepants re-runs.

 

No my brain is fried because I have been working it too hard studying. I mean seriously Physics, Chemistry, Biology, and Statistics are supposed to cram in my head all at once? It’s outrageous!  When I think about studying more I almost wish there was an episode of Spongebob hot boxing his pineapple house with Squidward and Patrick. That could really brainwash a person.

 

Don’t ask. I have no idea why SpongeBob all of a sudden came into the picture. He just did alright?!? Stop asking so many questions or are you giving me an exam too?

Jasmine.

What?!

Eat a snickers.

Why?

You get a little testy when you’re hungry.

*takes one bite*

Better?

No I’m not fucking better! I still have 5 damn exams to take!!!! Why does one bite of a snickers all of a sudden cure hunger in those commercials anyways? If that’s all it took there would be a lot less problems don’t you think? And if I’m hungry I’m gonna make myself a freaking feast! Not eat a snickers. If a snickers won’t fix hunger then it sure as hell can’t ace my exams for me either!! Idiot.

 

All I know is that my coffee intake will be increasing immensely from now until after my exams. And if I don’t know anything on the exam then maybe I will just resort to filling in the bubbles that spell out “Fuck This Shit”. I mean everyone will be thinking it, I’ll just show it.

 

Thank goodness Oktoberfest (long weekend of everyone partying and drinking) is right after my exams. I’ll need it! Enjoy the week everyone… Because I can’t!

 

-TCBL

 

Word Vomit

Yesterday. Friday the 13th.

I was probably extra weird.

Weird?

Yes. Weird. Weird from excitement, caffeine, sugar, being overtired, and just naturally being weird.

It was a fantastic day. I had some good zingers that kept my roommates laughing. Sometimes they laugh at what I say so much that I start to think it’s a good idea to hold a comedy club at our house every Wednesday night where I’m the main act every week. I could probably sell out.

 

Obviously you’d sell out, you only have two couches!!

 

Oh yeah, right! But I’d sell out nevertheless!

 

Anyways, I had a wonderful Friday the 13th, as I always do. Got out of class early, someone bought me a cupcake, had Chinese food, and watched scary movies all night with my roommates.  Hmm something else happened… OH! The cute boy who sits next to me in Physics class decided to talk to me and didn’t stop!!! *happy dance* This WILL be continued on Monday when I have class with him again.

 

So anyways I have a service dog at my house this weekend. Wilbur. He’s a labradoodle and really sweet. (There’s a point with the dog, I promise)

My roommate *Grace has a friend who I don’t really care for. Before you think I’m being judgmental, let me explain why. Grace had a falling out with three of her friends, Beth, Kristi, and Roger let’s call them. Roger had led Grace on and then decided he wanted to be with Kristi.  Basically saving you from a lot of nonsense drama, cheating, and scandal, I’ll just tell you this led to a fight over a boy who isn’t even worth it. A lot of hurt feelings and tears later Kristi and Roger ended up dating and Grace wasn’t talking to any of them. Beth decided to talk about Grace and join forces with the new couple.  So overall these girls weren’t ever very nice to Grace and that automatically puts them on my bad list.   On top of this Beth lacks a lot of basic manners. Like drinking straight from OUR water pitcher instead of using a cup. I understand there’s people who drink from milk cartons and what not, but from their OWN milk carton. She threw up at the table when we all went out to dinner instead of getting up to go to the bathroom (there was plenty of time).  Everyone’s night was ruined and she decided to touch someone else’s food to eat without washing her hands. The list goes on. What to take from this is that she’s just rude.

 

Okay okay what the hell does this have to do with the dog?!?! Okay so a picture was posted on the good ‘ol Facebook of Wilbur. Beth must have seen it and asked Grace if she could come see the dog.  She came over while we were in the middle of watching Friday the 13th.  I was trying to watch the movie which I can do very easily even with people talking because I’ve learned how to block people out very well. Beth however, kept talking to me for some weird reason.  She asked me if it was the same dog I had last weekend at our party. I was baffled. Wilbur is a yellow labradoodle with long hair. The dog I had last week was black with short hair…. I tried to be nice like I always do but it was hard not to reply with a short “the dog last week was black.” And I can only imagine what my facial expression looked like. Then, there was a sex scene in the movie as with all new horror films lately.  She looks at the screen and screams “Are you guys watching sex?!?!” This one I couldn’t hold in, it just fell out of my mouth quicker than my brain could process. “Why the fuck would we be watching sex?!” I mean seriously, what answer was she expecting: “Yes, we decided to have a roommate bonding night and watch porn together!” I mean come on. Get your shit together, Beth!

 

Your outburst probably had to have been the sugar rush after your free cupcake.

 

Yeah, let’s chalk it up to that!

 

Well, I tried to be nice as long as I possibly could, but I guess the cats out of the bag that I’m not too fond of her.  My roommates minus Grace thought it was hilarious. Oh well if you’re not a nice person then I might have a hard time getting along with you.

 

Either way I had a great day even with mean girls. Nothing can get in the way of me and my Friday the 13ths. I celebrate no matter what.

 

Random act of kindness: I helped a woman pick up something she dropped in Starbucks today. She was embarrassed and I reassured her by saying I do worse things. She smiled and felt better. Glad I could help her out. Whoever reads this should do a RAOK and tell me about it. Those stories make me happy!

 

-TCBL

The Why’s of my life right now

Why?

 

Why you should hate the fact that school has started.

Because I now have less time to come on here to grace you with my lovely, awkward, sarcastic stories. I also have even less time to read all of your wonderful blogs daily.

 

Why you should always check your pockets.

Because I randomly found 5 bucks in my pocket and was able to treat myself to coffee when I was running low on energy on a Monday while on campus for school. Talk about a fantastic surprise!!

 

Why I should probably be studying instead of writing this.

Because I most likely will have a quiz tomorrow in one of my classes and I’m not well prepared yet.

 

Why that cute boy who sits next to me in class should want to get to know me.

Because I’m awesome (and single)…. Who needs a better reason than that!?

 

Why I will not be partying this weekend with all my other friends.

Because I feel like I am 80 years old and need to study all weekend. Exams are coming up fast!

 

Why I enjoy smiling at strangers.

Because either A. they smile back and makes them happier or B. they feel awkward. Either way it’s a win-win for me.

 

Why I cannot wait for October.

Um, hello. Hockey season starts! With the shortened season last year I could not be more ready for this season to be underway.

 

Why I really have nothing to complain about.

Life’s good.

 

Why you should all have a fantastic rest of your week.

Because you deserve to that’s why!!

 

Why you should all have a drink at some point this weekend.

Because I won’t be able to. Plain and simple. Don’t forget to cheers to me!

 

Keep on Keepin’ on everyone! The week is almost over!

 

-TCBL

22 going on…80??

Finally I have time to relax! This two week of nonstop partying honestly has hit me like a ton of bricks since classes have started. I was hungover for two days, my back hurts, and I’m in bed by 9 o’ clock every night. Did I turn 22 or 80?

 

If I had to choose I would say the way I feel now is definitely worth the fun I’ve had to get to this point.

 

The Ke$ha concert was an absolute blast and I came out of it after literally taking a shower in glitter! And yes I dressed up to the T with my blue lipstick, glitter make-up, gold leggings, black combat boots, cat tank top, dollar sign earrings, and a cat ring. I definitely had been waiting for that moment for a very long time. Now before you judge my taste in music, just know that I have a love for the good old music too. Maybe I will write a blog about my favorite music next just to prove that I have a good taste in music as well. But hey, I’m in college and can dig a good song about drinking, sex, and hot boys. So sue me!

 

The booze cruise I went on is something that I cannot wait to do again.  It combined three great things: dancing, drinking, and boating. The beer was unlimited and the dj was jamming out. It was a good activity to choose for my birthday. The music choice was great for dancing until the dj started taking requests and the same guy kept returning up to the booth. Every single song after that was just dub step. I have nothing against dub step music, but one song is enough. 5 or 6? Now that’s just getting ridiculous there, sir! People started sitting down and going out on the deck after a while. Thank goodness the music master noticed and stopped taking requests from the dub step junkie. Sit down guy, you’re drunk!!! I definitely did want to do a rendition of Lonely Island’s “I’m on a boat” at some point… next time for sure though.

 

I was able to spend a few days with my mom at our family’s cabin on a lake to relax and rest from the late nights out.  My mom and I together however was just outrageous. We had laughing attacks countless number of times. If we would have stayed longer I probably would have gotten 6-pack abs! But between her running into the screen door 4 different times, me getting stuck half on the pier and half off because I got a cramp, and trying to find shapes out of a wall of rocks like a couple of stoners, it’s no wonder why we laughed so much. It’s a good thing it was just us two considering others would have thought we were just crazy. I hope my future boyfriend will understand.

 

My last night out was during Harley Fest in Milwaukee. My friend and I headed downtown and it was crazy down there! People were doing the wobble in the middle of the street, bikers were doing burnouts, and it was jam packed! Some drunk guy came up to me saying he saw me “400 minutes ago” and thought I was “hot”. (I had only been there for 30 minutes at that point) Well, uh, I think your sense of time is a little off buddy, because 400 minutes is over 6 hours. Thanks for the compliment though! I had beer and at one point I think I had a tequila red bull. I don’t know what gave me my hangover but after that was when I had the 2 dayer. I struck up a conversation with plenty of random people, and I might have scared some poor dad that just dropped his daughter off at college. Oh well, its college… shit happens. It was just an overall really good night.

 

Now I am back at school and going to class. The roommates and I already have a party planned for this weekend, and then Oktoberfest is at the end of the month. I guess my party days aren’t quite over yet.

 

I think that finally brought me back up to speed.  Good thing because I’ve missed writing!

 

Does anyone have any good/clever suggestions for a Halloween costume?? I don’t have any ideas. Help a girl out!

 

-tcbl