Thanks for making that easier?

So I was looking at a crossword puzzle that had hard clues and easy clues. For the most part, if I didn’t quite know the answer for the hard one… the easy hint helped a lot. But then I got to 20 across on the hard clue side.

 

The clue read: 20. Ant who’s the main character in A Bug’s Life.

Now right away with it being a Disney/Pixar movie I knew the answer right away.

It’s obviously Flik!

Then I thought, well if someone didn’t know the answer what would they do to make it easier for them? So I flip to the easy clues.

This one read: 20. Ant who’s the main character in the 1998 film A Bug’s Life

 

OH MY GOSH! 1998 that year definitely makes me realize that the name couldn’t possibly be anything other than Flik!

I mean come on really? Was the addition of the year the movie was made really supposed to help find out what the name was?

I think this is just a clear example of pure laziness. Way to go Crossword puzzle man of Reader’s Digest! This one’s a winner!

 

-TCBL

 

 

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The Devil’s Progenies

There’s these two girls in my class this summer that are just awful.

I like to get along with everyone. I don’t really like or understand when people don’t like me for no reason. But, that’s how it was with the dreadful pair. Right from day one, when I walked in and sat down I got the evil stare. I smiled back, like I always do. They just wrote me off from the start.

What the fuck did I do wrong? Did I wear the wrong color? Should I have one strapped it instead of using both straps on my back pack? What the hell was it?!

I know it couldn’t have anything to do with a boy. Which is probably the number 1 reason why girls hate on girls. Crazy bitches!

So did I even do anything wrong?

No! I didn’t do anything wrong! Those abominable twats just have something stuck up their asses sideways. They probably should get off their high horses because they aren’t as hot of shit as they think they are.

They only talk to other people when they don’t understand what’s going on… which is always.  So they just use whoever they can… and we all know it (and give wrong answers).

I can tolerate evil stares and even them talking about me. I’ve gotten over that childish nonsense a long time ago. But what I can’t stand is when they talk about other members in our class that are just innocent bystanders.

There is this older woman who is in the same class as us. She’s nice, asks a lot of questions, and obviously doesn’t shop at Hollister. Honestly who cares?  Well these spawns of Satan have nothing better going on in their mundane lives so I guess they do.

In lab I heard one of the girls say to all of us, “That old lady is so annoying!”

Her friend backed her up (when no one else would), “Omg! I know, she never shuts up during discussion and always asks questions.”

Okay before I go any further… Are you fucking kidding me? Discussion is the time where we are supposed to ask questions when we don’t understand. Which clearly they should be doing more of considering they always ask everyone else for answers. I don’t understand how utilizing the class time is annoying? It’s better than sitting there for an hour with our teacher lecturing us more. Total snooze fest.

But as if it wasn’t enough to talk about our classmate’s habit of… attending college and learning, then they had to continue on to her appearance.

“And have you seen her luscious mustache” which was followed by laughter of the two and everyone else just awkwardly smiling at them.

I was surprised that they even understood what luscious meant. Either way I had had enough of listening to these girl’s snide comments and laughing at others for no reason.  I finished up and walked out as fast as I could.  I did it quite noticeably, and others soon followed in suit. Which I later heard I missed their following burn about the woman’s wardrobe shortly after I left. Thank goodness because I would have liked to have a battle of words with them. 2 vs. 1 and I would still make them shut their traps. They are just not worth my time or breath to bother. I’m sure karma will come around soon enough.

I don’t know why it bothers me so much when people don’t like me for no reason. That is until I find out how big of assholes they really are. Then I could give rat’s ass about what they thought. There is no point in talking about others. Just leave them alone and live your own life. No need to be a shithead to people during it.

 

All I know is that the two girls in my class are malicious and the movies I recently watch have a strong effect on my vocabulary for the week. Thank you “Easy A” for abominable twat and “21 Jump Street” for the back pack strap conundrum.

 

I guess at the end of this rant all I’m really saying is people are unnecessarily mean and it really grinds my gears. Be kind out there people!

 

 

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-TCBL

Can’t Win With Karen

A mutual friend from home came to visit us for the weekend where we go to school.  It was a long weekend of drinking, cooking out, and laughs.  The first night after we had gone out Karen had slept until about 2 in the afternoon. I don’t know if I had mentioned this about Karen before but she sleeps… A LOT. That’s why we call her the bear. She basically hibernates like one, so we might as well just call her one. Well it was a long time to wait on her to get moving to get the day started. With this in mind, *Jess and I didn’t want to wait until the day was already half over again. We left the house to get the grocery shopping for our cookout done. About twenty minutes into our shopping who texts us?  None other than Karen. “Where u at?” was sent to my phone at 12:34 pm. Now this was a shock to us since it was almost 2 hours before she comes out of hibernation. Also, “Where u at?” No Karen, just no. It’s “where are you?”(If you are confused about my problem with this text, then you can refer to my “Are you talking to me?” blog) Needless to say I wasn’t the one who answered her back… Jess did. She has more patience than I do.

So a little back story before I continue on. You can never win with Karen. If you wake her up (even if she asks you to) you better be ready for the biggest tantrum thrown ever. If you come across an angry, just woken up Karen you might just wish you had come across a real live Grizzly bear instead.  I mean seriously…. Fear for your life!! I sometimes think Karen could scare away a bear with her rage. But if you don’t wake her up then you still get a tantrum, but not anywhere near close to a “run for your life” outburst. Since we know we can handle the small fits, we choose not to wake her up. It’s never been proven to be the wrong choice yet!

 

So back to the store. Karen asked why we didn’t wake her and all that stuff. So we told her just to tell us what she wanted and we would get it. It turned out fine. The cookout was a success, and we had another fun night out. The next day Jess was leaving and she asked how much the groceries were split three ways? It was about $13 each. She paid and I figured Karen would eventually pay me as well.

Karen was downing a whole bottle of soda, still chowing down some hotdogs, and slurping back those freeze pops like there was no tomorrow. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and waited a little longer. I finally received a text about a bill I had to pay, and I just couldn’t wait anymore.  I asked her for money… face-to-face. I know. I know. How did I make it out alive to tell the story? Believe me, I’m just about as surprised as you are. Let’s just say, I now stop to smell the flowers, take in the beauty of every sunset… Okay this just happened yesterday. So I only got to watch one sunset, but that doesn’t mean I won’t watch the rest!

Here’s how the conversation went…

Me: Hey, Karen since the cookout split between all of us is $13 I figured I could take the amount off the money I owe for the bill.

Karen: What is it for?

M: All the food.

K: But what for?

M: For everything… (minus my beer)

K: But I didn’t eat all of it.

M: Yeah, neither did I nor Jess.

K: Well that’s why I wanted you guys to wake me up, because I didn’t get to pick what I wanted.

(HERE WE GO! Back to the hibernation dilemma!! Oh really? You never go to pick what you wanted? Because I believe Jess was on the phone with her majority of the time and Karen was telling her what to get as I said before.. in bold. And I’m pretty sure we bought her a tub of potato salad even though she was the only one who wanted it and ate it.)

M: Well Jess paid me her share so I’m going to take it off the bill and give you whatever else is left. (I was already mad about how she was talking to me and treating me at that point so I just left it at that.)

Cue the moment when Karen stops talking to me! (Like that has never happened before HA!)

Let me tell you the REAL reason why Karen wanted to come to the store with us. She wanted to buy her own stuff that wouldn’t cost much, and then ask if she could “borrow” whatever it was that Jess and I bought. I get it we are all broke college kids, but that doesn’t mean you get to be a sneaky little cheap ass to your own friends.

So no less than an hour later, Karen walks up to me all nice to ask a question. I answered and left the house IMMEDIATELY.

Bi-polar much? I understand it’s a serious condition and by no means making fun of it. But Karen makes it hard not to!! I mean her mood swings give me whip lash. I just can’t handle it no matter how hard I try! I don’t think she really even realizes that she’s all over the place.

She’s been camped out in the living room hogging the TV and air con since. I told her to let me know when she was done so I could watch the shows I recorded. She told me I could use it then, but to sit in the same room with her? Nope! Off to bed I went. I got some alone time today, but of course she came in and sat with me…. With her Subway she just bought for herself…. We just got ourselves Jimmy Johns the day before this all happened…. That’s another story for another day.

I can’t win with Karen and I can’t deal with her until she recognizes her problem.  So until then, I’m going to continue being short with her, and throw a party tomorrow when she moves out!!! *Fist pump* Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah YEAH!!!!!!

 

Quick thought- How did I get through this rant without swearing?!?!? That is a record.

 

TheComedyBehindLife

Are you talking to me?

The way people in my generation are speaking is really starting to horrify me. Now I’m not OCD about correct grammar, and I definitely won’t correct anyone. Those people who have the need to correct every grammar mistake actually irritate me. Texting is supposed to be an informal way to communicate with friends. Not this place where you have to worry about whether or not you put the comma in the right place. I understand that by now we should all know the difference between your and you’re, their and there, and to and two. On the other hand is it really the end of the world if someone uses the wrong one? While having an actual conversation you don’t interrupt the person and ask, “Now when you say that are you using the correct form?” So why ignore your friend’s text completely and simply reply with the correction: you’re*. Quite frankly I think it’s just RUDE.

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It’s not really the grammar that gets me. It’s the use of certain words that confuse me. Does YOLO bother anyone else besides me? It’s like the dumb down version of Carpe Diem. Zac Efron has gotten YOLO tattooed on his hand… That is the only one I will ever over look just because…well…. c’mon it’s Zac Efron. I’m a girl. Sue me. It recently has been looking a little lighter in color so maybe even he came to his senses and is trying to get it removed. Anyways, the way in which people use the acronym is also a little EXTREMELY unreasonable. For example when girls in short, tight, skimpy dresses go out and one of them forgot to put underwear on, but goes on top of the bar to dance despite her current commando situation…. YOLO!! I mean is “you only live once” really an excuse to flash your cooka to an entire bar? Yeah one day you won’t be here, but come on at least have some dignity. I’m sure guys are just as bad as girls when it comes to using the phrase, but I have more than enough time to bash that gender later.

LATER??? Ok, you’re right, how about now. Commence the bashing of the opposite sex! So recently I had a boy (let’s call him George) that I went to high school with in the past message me on Facebook. I don’t have any recollections of us talking much in school or ever hanging out either. On the other hand I did talk to one of his friends (Phillip) a lot, who coincidentally had a crush on me. Now awhile back George contacted me to talk to me about Phillip. You know talk him up, find out if I had feelings, if I was seeing anyone, etc. (What were we in, middle school again? Lame!) I didn’t feel the same way about Phil, but never really officially rejected him either. After awhile the conversations ended with both of the guys and I was relieved I wasn’t bothered anymore. That was until the other day I received a message from George. It went like this….

George: Hey
Me: Hi
G: how hve u been whts new
M: I’ve been okay. Nothing new here. How about you?
G: Sam jus wrk sht hmu we shud chill (left phone number)
M: I don’t live in (Hometown) anymore
G: where do u sty
M: (College town) for now and hopefully moving somewhere out of state when I’m done with school.
G: Well we still can meet up chill sometime I can come the (college town) from time to time if u wanted
M: I don’t have a lot of free time but I can let you know if I’m in (Hometown) ever
G: Koo

*Every mistake in there was real. If you think it was a typo by me, don’t. It was hard enough trying to re-type the conversation that took place without correcting it.

A few quick things before my rant on the writing style, if you will. Why is he trying to drive a total of three hours when we have never hung out ever before? I mean I know why. Its just weird, creepy, and gross. Next, what happened to the respect of your friend? News flash: Loyalty is more attractive.

Now that is not the only thing unattractive. If you aren’t going to take the time to use vowels in your words, say the actual word cool or you, well then you don’t deserve my time. I mean seriously, why are you talking like you forgot how to spell. I think a first grader knows better than that. You are not “hood” or “gangster” if I have to try and translate everything you say into a normal way that I can understand. I just think you’re stupid and I like men who are intelligent.

For the people OCD with grammar, just be thankful this isn’t the most popular problem you have to deal with. There are always worse things so just deal with a few misused yours and theirs. It’s not the end of the world as we know it. I promise. What I can also promise you is that if you correct people on a daily basis, well then you are hated by many.

Sometimes you just have to laugh at people, even if it’s not very nice.
-Thecbl

Maybe that’s what they were going for?

So today I have observed many people. Mostly about the things they were wearing.  It’s finally starting to warm up outside so there are many different fashion choices out there.  Questionable, ludicrous, outrageous, silly choices, but I digress.  I live on a very busy street near my college campus. Everyone is always walking in front of our house, and we have many places for people watching.  While monitoring the passer-bys I found myself thinking “why would someone wear that?” I had this question numerous of times!

There were two couples rollerblading down the sidewalk.  The two guys were up in front wearing basketball shorts and cutoff t-shirts.  They looked ready for a day of rollerblading in the sun.  Then I noticed the two girls: short jean shorts, hair perfectly straightened, sequined shirts, and I’m assuming a fresh layer of make-up.  Now when I go rollerblading I wear my hair in some sort of messy up do, an outfit similar to what the guys were wearing, and eventually a nice layer of sweat. Then it hit me! Maybe the girls just wanted to look like they were going to a sports photo shoot that never really existed.  Or maybe they wanted to blind all the drivers with their reflecting shirts and possibly get hit. If they fell, they could have wanted the least amount of protection covering their legs possible so they could get some pretty wicked scars. No matter the reason who am I to ask “why?” No matter how ridiculous they looked dressed up while doing a sport, That’s just what they were going for.

After an hour I saw 5 boys finally emerge from their party house across the street at the crack of 5 in the late afternoon. All were looking pretty good dressed up in suits.  Then of course there’s always that one person in the group who makes people question their decisions. I’m assuming these boys had somewhere special to be, because from dorm life experiences boys rarely step out of their 5 shirt and 4 pairs of pants/shorts combo.  So I’m wondering where that last guy thought, “Yeah! Let me add this awesome camo hat with this suit and I will look extra good.”  From the presence of head shakes he got while walking out the door, I’m assuming his friends disproved. Then you start to wonder…. Maybe he was going hunting after attending the fancy event. He could have not wanted people to see him and blend in at the event.  Perhaps he was just exercising the right to express himself, although I’m not quite sure what camo exudes when it comes to expression. His friends should suck up the head shakes, because whatever the reason, it’s just what he was going for.

Note to girls who wear thin light colored shirts and dark bras: Everyone can see through your shirt.  If you are just on your way to a wet t-shirt contest, well then I wish you luck. I hope you win because I’m sure that’s what you’re going for!

-TCBL