The Special and the Paranoid

I have two cats.

 

I’m a dog person but have two pet cats.

 

How does that happen you ask?

Well 10 years ago I gave my mom an ultimatum that I either could get a dog or two cats. I thought the extra number would steer her towards the dog. Boy, was I wrong.

Ten years later and I still have the two little fur balls. And still no dog.

One is Rodney and the other is Raven. I don’t think you’re supposed to, but I do have a favorite. It’s not really a big secret. If you were to go through pictures on my phone you would see hundreds of pictures  of Rodney and maybe three of Raven. Even when I talk to my mom I always ask, “How is Rodney?” I never really inquire about Raven. Not because I don’t love her. But because she probably isn’t doing anything.

Raven is a little slow and we hold a cat special Olympics just for her every year. Most of the time she just sits in the dark in the basement and is very antisocial. She’s also been playing the same game of chase that ended 7 years ago… She’s so special. I blame it on the time when she took a running start and giant leap off the couch straight into the wall head first. Brain damage. It seriously was like out of an old time Warner Bros. cartoon as she slid down the wall in slow motion. My mom blames it on the time I sat on her because she blended in with our black couch. Lack of oxygen leading to brain damage. Poor cat has been through a lot, and we just laugh at her misfortunes. She does have cuteness working in her favor though. When she wants something she meows in the most adorable way and you can’t say no to her.

 

Rodney on the other hand is my baby and can’t ever be alone.  We have conversations all the time and my mom yells at us to shut up all the time.  My favorite is when I leave to go back to school and he tries to talk to my mom. I definitely have Skyped with him on multiple occasions.  He might be schizophrenic in the sense that he always thinks something is crawling on him and randomly bites himself, then runs around the house super fast making weird noises.  He likes to get high off of catnip. After rolling around in it he lays on his back with a glossy look in his eyes for awhile. Then he passes out for an hour.

 

I think I just have a pair of the world’s weirdest cats. Which is okay because I like weird and they fit right in to our family.

 

 rodney 1

He never really understands hide and seek. He always has some body part sticking out (usually his tail)

rodney 2

He likes birthdays and Christmas because He gets boxes as presents

rodney 4

He likes hockey just as much as I do.

raven

This is Raven on our treadmill… she doesn’t know she’s using it the wrong way.

Anyways, Next week after my exams I am going to go to the library and write all day non-stop so I can get back on track with writing on here almost every day again. I also won’t write about my cats…. once is even too much.

-tcbl

 

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Critters

All are pictures I took of animals in Australia.

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Penguin couple: Even they can get a boyfriend before me.

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Pelicans waiting for the fishermen to throw the scraps: mmm fish guts!

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Koala bear munching on some leaves: someone get this guy a cheeseburger!

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Donkey: When you see the photobomb 🙂

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A couple of Peacocks: The white one got the memo to stand out

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Albino Kangaroo: I love naps too

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Kangaroo: How much do you lift?

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Kangaroo: “Just 5 more minutes, mom”

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Penguin: what a cave dweller

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Fish: Don’t swim into the light!

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Jellyfish: Which way is up?

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Geckos: The coast is clear

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frogmouth owl: stuck in a cage

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Cat: Not close enough

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Kookaburra: He’s not laughing

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Alligator: Fat Albert

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Lizard: thinks he’s a statue

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Elephant: At the watering hole

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Tiger: trying to figure out what I’m doing

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Rhinos: It’s hotter where you came from boys

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Tortoise: That grin, creepy or cute?

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Wallaby: those buck teeth! ❤

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Koala: I must have woke him up

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birds: bath time

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duck: quack quack?

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Such beautiful colors

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He showed off for the camera

Well that’s all for the cbl’s safari. Have a great day!

-tcbl

The Gremlin From Hell

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Okay this cute thing’s name is Gidget and really isn’t from hell. In all truthfulness she is a sweetheart. The only problem is, she smells like she’s been dead… for about a month. Rancid!

 

This isn’t something that you want anywhere near you. The smell that comes out of her ass is the same smell that comes from her mouth. Yes, it is as unpleasant as it sounds! When she finally lets out a gas bubble that probably took the whole day to work through her system, you would think someone set off a stink bomb. Same thing happens every time when she pants and breathes on you. When you first see her shake her little curly tail and get excited you just want to cuddle her. That second you hit that odor wall you abort that idea real quick.

If you can withstand the smell and venture past the stench she’s not the softest thing to touch. She has this coarse wire hair that feels like an old rope. It’s itchy on your skin, and I can only imagine how it feels on her. One fun thing I like to do with it is give her a Mohawk starting from her head all the way down her body. I find it amusing. She might not.

 

If the stink and scratchiness don’t get to you then the sheer sight of her snaggleteeth might. This dog needs dentures. It’s about 7 years too late for them though. They aren’t a pretty sight but they are what make Gidget, the little science experiment that she is.

 

Now this dog is 16 years old and has been on her death bed for about 3.  She just won’t die. That sounds bad, but I’m serious. She has so many health problems that she just needs to keel over.   Forget 9 lives, she has 20! I sometimes worry that every time she gets wet, another year gets tacked onto her life, instead of multiplying like an actual gremlin.  She’s lived a long… long long long life and will go out incredibly happy. She gets people food every day, which is how she racked up the extra pounds.  When she finally does make the exit, I don’t want to within a 10miles radius of her. The noxious odor could just leave her body and spread like wildfire knocking everyone down.

 

She maybe old, but she’s still hanging on. Until her day comes, I will just have to remember one thing: Just because it smells like it’s dead, doesn’t mean it is.

 

-TCBL