My Brain is Fried

Okay everyone my brain is NOT fried because I’ve been smoking too much weed or watching too many Spongebob Squarepants re-runs.

 

No my brain is fried because I have been working it too hard studying. I mean seriously Physics, Chemistry, Biology, and Statistics are supposed to cram in my head all at once? It’s outrageous!  When I think about studying more I almost wish there was an episode of Spongebob hot boxing his pineapple house with Squidward and Patrick. That could really brainwash a person.

 

Don’t ask. I have no idea why SpongeBob all of a sudden came into the picture. He just did alright?!? Stop asking so many questions or are you giving me an exam too?

Jasmine.

What?!

Eat a snickers.

Why?

You get a little testy when you’re hungry.

*takes one bite*

Better?

No I’m not fucking better! I still have 5 damn exams to take!!!! Why does one bite of a snickers all of a sudden cure hunger in those commercials anyways? If that’s all it took there would be a lot less problems don’t you think? And if I’m hungry I’m gonna make myself a freaking feast! Not eat a snickers. If a snickers won’t fix hunger then it sure as hell can’t ace my exams for me either!! Idiot.

 

All I know is that my coffee intake will be increasing immensely from now until after my exams. And if I don’t know anything on the exam then maybe I will just resort to filling in the bubbles that spell out “Fuck This Shit”. I mean everyone will be thinking it, I’ll just show it.

 

Thank goodness Oktoberfest (long weekend of everyone partying and drinking) is right after my exams. I’ll need it! Enjoy the week everyone… Because I can’t!

 

-TCBL

 

Why Can’t I F*cking Sleep?!?!?!

There is an endless amount of possibilities as to why I can’t sleep:

  1. Well, I’m on the computer for one thing
  2. The TV is on: Skip ahead to #5
  3. I took an unnecessary 2hr nap
  4. I had coffee at 6 ‘o clock pm that probably shouldn’t have been consumed
  5. My imagination decided to go wild and think of horrible things like scenes from “The Conjuring” previews and I got scared an evil paranormal spirit was going to drag me out of my bed.
  6. The lights are on thanks to #5
  7. I’m too cold with the fans blasting on me
  8. I’m too hot with the fans off
  9. I’m upset I didn’t get to celebrate National Tequila Day
  10. I’m hungry
  11. I keep thinking about sleep
  12. I’m not tired
  13. I am tired
  14. I’m trying to plan out my day tomorrow. It involves a stop for coffee, I have a feeling I’ll be needing it.
  15. I’m worried I will have to plan an exorcism if I stay up until 3:00 am. (watch the exorcism of Emily rose if you’re lost)
  16. I’m trying to think if I forgot to pack something
  17. I’m trying to remember something I forgot three days ago
  18. I’m wondering how long I’m going to be single for
  19. I’m writing this blog
  20. My hair is messy and the strays are blowing in the wind tickling my face leading me to believe spiders are crawling all over me
  21. I can’t help but remember how ridiculous and hilarious “Sharknado” was
  22. I’m sore from my workout yesterday and it hurts to toss and turn
  23. I have SDI (self-diagnosed insomnia)
  24. I thought about all the horrible dreams I’ve had
  25. The sandman skipped my house
  26. Something bad is happening in the dream world and it’s not safe for me to enter (Oh geez I hope everyone is okay)
  27. My room is a mess
  28. I’m scared to find out what will happen on “Big Brother” tomorrow. Who’s being evicted?!
  29. I’m thirsty, but that requires me to walk upstairs and I can’t because of #22 (now I know how the Twilight vampires feel with being unable to quench an unbearable thirst)
  30. I’d rather write this list than keep trying to sleep
  31. I don’t like  even numbers

 

I could probably keep going with reasons since my brain could be the new mascot for energizer batteries (Move over pink bunny banging the drum!) But, I should probably try to sleep for the 5th time. It’s already past 3:00 am so I undoubtedly have to schedule my exorcism in the morning. Until then I will lay here awake, and wait for the sandman to come back and drop a 10lb bag of sand on my head to knock me out.

 

-TCBL