Summer. I don’t understand what it is about this season that people think it’s the time to find love. I mean what is so attractive about someone sweating buckets, wearing too short of shorts to the point where they ride up to the Netherlands with every stride you take, frizzed out hair, and looking like a lobster when burnt by the sun? Unless you’re Rihanna or Joe Magliano at the beach, the heat doesn’t always work wonders for you. Maybe it’s just the weather today that has me feeling like this. Wisconsin summers aren’t always the best. When the humidity strikes it’s the worst! You walk out the door, the air hits you, you’re drenched (with sweat) instantly and need to go back inside to take another shower (or two) and change clothes. It’s just a gross feeling, which is how I feel now. That’s how it has been all day today. I like to take cover in the air con, not go out hitting on everyone. Maybe that’s why I’m single. Yeah and a lot of other reasons! Okay really, let’s just not go there! Thanks.
So tonight Karen, Nora, and I all got together to watch The Bachelorette. We had wine and talked beforehand. That’s when Nora told us that her and her boyfriend *Cole are breaking up. I already saw this coming for a while. Just because she’s confided in me a lot about their relationship, and I just witnessed how they were most of the time (Nora pointing out attractive guys more than me sometimes also was a big clue). But, I still felt like I had to give my Oscar winning performance, pretend like I had no idea, and come back with an “OMG! Why, what happened?” Nora had just turned 21 a couple months ago and has been in this relationship for over 2 years. The time in the relationship was just running down to its final seconds, then BAM! Summer hit. New news I also received that night was Nora already had her eyes set on a new guy… Really? She’s not even broken up with her current boyfriend yet, and she has another lined up already. Meanwhile I don’t even have anything close. I probably could try a little harder… “Sometimes I think I could do crystal meth, but then I think mmmm better not.”
A lot of relationships don’t make it past summer. Many of them start and end there actually. Which brings me to my next point. Summer flings. Another roommate of mine, *Kayla, was excited to meet this guy she plays volleyball with in a bar league. What I didn’t know was that she was excited to have a “summer fling”. I just don’t understand how someone can go into that mindset right away. I mean I understand if you meet someone in summer and at the end of the season it doesn’t work out after you return back to school, then so what. But to go looking specifically for a summer fling?? Maybe I’m the weird one, and I’m okay with that!
With that said, I don’t think I could ever be on a show like The Bachelorette. Dating however many guys at once, kissing multiple within 10minutes of each other on group dates, and developing feelings for that many people at once. I mean I know you have to date to find the right person, but 20 guys? That seems a little excessive. It’s hard to wrap my mind around it. That doesn’t stop me from watching though. If you’re like me and love awkward moments then this is a great show to watch! For any normal person they get uncomfortable in awkward situations, but not me. I love watching them, creating them, laughing at them, etc. Regardless my friends hate when I instigate awkward moments, but they always make for funny stories later on so I just can’t help it.
I guess I don’t understand why all these pretty women and good looking men are having such a hard time finding someone to date. I know a lot of the people who go on the show have other agendas, like becoming famous, but what about the ones that aren’t? Is it really that hard to meet people these days? I mean I know why all my close friends are single. A lot of it is out of stupidity, and the other part is out of them thinking they’re too good for the ones that are interested in them. I’m guessing they aren’t the only ones, so I guess maybe it is hard to meet people. If one of them asks one more time while they are drunk, “Why am I single?!?!” I might lose it. Or I’ll just turn into Barney Stinson and play the “Haaaave you met (enter single friend’s name here)” game. It seems to work for the fictional characters, maybe it could work for them? When will they wake up and realize the obvious things like the guy talking to them is interested and not the other one standing across the bar that hasn’t noticed them, or if a guy is texting you to hang out, they aren’t weird just because they like you and they aren’t the one you want texting you? But you still want that guy who is known for playing girls, breaking hearts, and rumored to have the herpolie urpolies (that means he’s been around the block too many times or angered enough girls to have that rumor started) text you?? Yeah, I too wonder why you’re having problems in the relationship department. Pretending like I have not a clue in the world as to why they’re single is not always my best performance, and definitely not Oscar worthy.
I guess I’ll just continue to hold in the BIG secret of why they are all single, laugh at all the awkward moments, and enjoy the single life for now.
-TCBL
The Comedy Behind Life 